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I Had A Good Cry Today

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I Had A Good Cry Today

I had a good cry today.

I cried for our city, our state, our country, our world.

I cried for those COVID-19 patients that don’t know how this will all play out. Will they see their spouse again? Will they hug their kids again? Or will they slip from this world to the next, alone in quarantine?

I cried for high school seniors who are missing those last weeks which are supposed to be the crowning glory of their 12 years of schooling.

I cried for those athletes who worked so hard to train and prepare, only to have their season snatched away from them.

I cried for those grandparents secluded in nursing homes or even in their own homes, unable to spend time with their kids and grandkids.

I cried for all the doctors and nurses who are bravely giving care and comfort to scared, sick people, and who are coming home exhausted, terrified they are bringing the virus to their families.

I cried for the families of the medical community (including myself), who are confused about how to “socially distance” from their own spouses and fathers/mothers, because they may have been unknowingly exposed.

I cried for workers whose jobs are deemed “essential” and are still out in public, unable to shelter in place. And then I cried for all the other workers who are at home, because they can’t work. I can only imagine the fear they have. How they will pay their bills? How they will take care of their families? How will they even buy groceries to survive?

I had a good cry today.

I cried for our leaders in every arena who are trying to do the best they know how against an enemy that they have never known. There is no precedence for the decisions they have to make. And yet they are endlessly criticized and questioned. Truly, I am so very thankful I don’t have their job.

I cried because I miss normal. Don’t you miss normal?

And after I had a good cry, I reached up to wipe my tears away and caught myself just before I touched my face. Really? I have to be afraid of touching my own face? Lord, help us all!

But after I cried, I prayed. I worshipped. I remembered that all of God’s promises are yes and amen. I remembered that He will never leave us nor forsake us. I remembered that He is able to keep us from falling. I remembered that He will cause all things to work for our good, according to His purpose for our lives.

After I cried, I fixed a big lunch for my 17-year-old son. And I realized that my prayer to have more time and conversation with him during this last year and a half at home had been answered. Wanna ask me a question about William Blake’s poetry? I know a lot more than I did this time last week.

After I cried, I taught math to my little kids and saw their patience with me as they showed me how to do. And then we read together. I had forgotten how fun a pirate story is. And then I remembered how grateful I am for teachers who do this every day.

After I cried, my husband and I talked about the future, when all of this is over. How will it change us? What will we do differently? I want to learn from this, to grow from this. I want these uncertain days to grow my dependence upon the Only One who is certain.

And you know what? God has a lot to say about those times when we just need to have a good cry.  Listen to His own words:

And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

                                                                        Revelations 21:4.

 

You keep track of all my sorrows.

You have collected all my tears in your bottle. 

You have recorded each one in your book.

                                                                        Psalm 56:8

 

Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.

                                                                        Psalm 30:5

 

This time will end. Things will get back to normal. Though our lives have hit an unusual and unprecedented pause button, they will eventually resume. But even as we acknowledge this great truth, it is okay to have a good cry every now and then.

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28 Comments I Had A Good Cry Today

  5. B. Roberts

    Beautiful words… and I thank you for them. I have felt and still feel so many ways and things that you’ve mentioned. Day to day, M-F, I drive. I stop at my
    first house to treat my sweet patient, then I hop back in my van and go to the next home. Taking the extra time and effort to sanitize, spray, wipe, and toss all the used gloves and wipes in a Wal-Mart bag from the day. Between every house, every mile, I just can’t help but think… “This is so strange…I feel like I am in what USED to be my favorite kind of “disaster” movie…I hope I don’t get exposed, then spread it to that frail patient that can barely walk from room to room in her house. What are the medical staff doing in those larger cities? How can they handle it? If I was the reason for that dependent, patient, my children, or my parents got sick, or had to be placed on a ventilator, or worse…”. Then I think, “I can do this…I HAVE to do this…No I WANT to do this.”
    I’m nervous, I’m scared, I’m stressed. Then I think about my children. My oldest, a Marine, who is stationed on the other side of the country, in one of the highest infected states in our Country. I can’t even see him or protect him…or say, “stop biting your nails…don’t mess with your contacts…don’t touch your face… wash your hands… or ask him if he feels ok?”. I have to bring my worries back down, and remember I get to go home after a fulfilling, but stressful job, to 3 daughters and a husband that worry about me everyday. They worry because I have to go “out in it”. They keep me going. GOD keeps me functioning. God gives me peace. He turns my scared and depressed tears to very sweet, blessed, and changed tears. This has changed the world, but hopefully in some ways for the best. How can I say that? So many have lost their lives, or loved ones. Then I bring it back down again…turn it over to the Lord, and go back at it again the next day. Only stronger. I am thankful that I have that peace. I try to use the peace I have in my soul and heart, to keep me driving safely from home to home, helping my patients, and be the best mother and wife that I can when I get back home.
    Again, thank you for your words. God is wonderful.

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  8. Harriet Kemp

    Sara, thank you for those words I needed to hear so much tonight as I am burdened for the Plummer family as JJ is fighting for his life. There are so many fears around us that I don’t know where to start praying. You answered that question! Bless you for your words of wisdom.

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  10. Jackie Mayeux

    Thank you Sara for this. My daughter Sara is a senior. May God guide this 2020 class in this world. I pray they will have the chance to walk for their graduation.
    Thank you! God Bless!

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  11. Vicki Avery

    I too Sara have a high school senior grandchild. It is Jason’s youngest. So sad to see the world in such turmoil. But, then, it is the world and God has warned us of getting caught up in the chaotic challenges that it presents. As we pray for our loved ones and those that are lost to the promises that God lovingly rewards those who believe we can be reassured of the truth and goodness of His word. That brings a peace that passes understanding. May you continue to be a blessing to others. It is encouraging to all.

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  14. Donita Rule

    How can we say thanks for the beautiful expression of your thoughts and feelings. You expressed it in such a beautiful way and we are so appreciative. May God continúe to bless you every second of every day just like He does the rest of us! ✝️❤️

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